What Happens When You Don’t Let People Lead

I’ll never forget a friend’s story about a leader who sabotaged his entire team—all without raising his voice or slamming a door.

I met Alice through a private foundation in Washington. We clicked quickly. She had a gentle, grounded demeanor and we built a meaningful, working friendship. I’ve carried a lot of her wisdom with me over the years, especially about the dangers of micromanaging your team.

She taught me that a slow erosion of confidence starts at the very top. 

What Are Your People Learning from You?

One day, we were talking about leadership—what it looks like when it works, and what it looks like when it doesn’t. Alice told me a story about her former boss that still makes my heart ache a little. 

Not because it was some dramatic betrayal or high-conflict situation, but because it was so quietly demoralizing.

She described a pattern of total control at her old job. Everything had to go through the CEO. Everything. There were no clear lanes of ownership. Even small, straightforward tasks were filtered through the same funnel. One of Alice’s first assignments was to draft a simple thank you letter. She put a lot of effort into the task. But when she saw the final version, “Dear [Name]” and “Sincerely, Alice,” were the only things left untouched.

The message was clear:

• Don’t take initiative.

• Don’t bring your voice to the table.

• Don’t bother trying.

If her boss had approached the situation differently, that moment could’ve been an invitation for Alice to learn—an opportunity for constructive feedback leading to growth. Instead, no matter how hard she tried, her work always came back completely changed.

Alice grew accustomed to being shut down.

The problem? If you never let people try, they’ll stop trying.

The Unseen Cost of Micromanagement

This discouraging pattern affected Alice more deeply than she even realized at the time. She said the experience slowly chipped away at the very qualities we should be building in our team members:

• Sharpness

• Insight

• Creativity

• Agility

Alice began procrastinating, avoiding certain tasks. She felt stuck. Worst of all? She wasn’t alone. Her coworkers experienced the same steady shift from investment to detachment.

To this day, Alice’s story reminds me what’s really at stake when leaders micromanage their team. It’s not just about slowing down processes or bottlenecking communication—it’s about stealing energy, autonomy, and growth from the people around you. Ironically, as Alice pointed out, her boss would’ve looked better if the whole team had been performing at their best. Instead, everyone was stuck in survival mode, operating at 60% on a good day.

My advice? Next time you are in a position to either delegate or control, if you want better results from your team, get out of the way.

Leadership Is Trust in Action

I want to be the kind of leader who gives people the opportunity to learn and grow—and, yes, that might mean they fail sometimes. But giving people real ownership also builds creativity, confidence, and commitment. That’s where the magic happens. It’s also where the best work happens—when people feel trusted, invested, and fully alive in their role.

Want a high-performing team? Build a high-trust culture. One where people can try, miss, learn, and try again. That’s how you get sharper ideas, more courageous thinking, and the kind of energy that moves your mission forward, while also delivering better results for your clients.