From “I Hate People: to a People-First Approach in Life

Fifteen years ago, I sat across from a mentor and said, without hesitation, “I hate people.”

I meant it. People frustrated me. They got in my way, complicated things, and drained my energy. I wasn’t interested in managing relationships or making space for people who, in my mind, only made things harder.

Fast forward to today, and I run a people-first business. I spend my days talking with nonprofit leaders, helping them build strong teams and make important decisions, and investing in relationships that truly matter. And if you asked most people who know me, they’d probably say, Leah’s a people person.

So what changed?

The Shift From What Am I Getting to What Am I Bringing?

Back then, my perspective was entirely about me.

• How were people inconveniencing me?

• How were they making things more difficult?

• What was I getting (or not getting) from my interactions? .

And if I left a conversation or an event feeling like I hadn’t gotten anything useful—no strong connection, no interesting conversation, no obvious benefit—then it felt like a waste of time.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped asking what am I getting? and started asking what am I bringing?

That single shift changed everything.

When I walk into a room, when I sit down for a conversation, when I show up in my relationships—whether with my friends, my family, my team, or my community—I try (and I’m not perfect at it) to focus on what I am bringing to the table.

• Am I bringing energy? A thoughtful question? A listening ear? A piece of encouragement someone needs to hear? A perspective that helps someone else feel seen?

When I approach people with that mindset, I leave every interaction feeling fulfilled. Not because I necessarily got something out of it, but because I gave something valuable.

The Power of a People-First Approach

This shift isn’t just about being a better friend, partner, or leader. It’s about seeing people as the greatest asset we have in life. Not just in business. Not just in networking. Not just in organizations. In life.

Adam Grant talks about this in his book Give and Take, which I highly recommend. If we show up as givers—people who contribute without expecting immediate returns—relationships become richer, and opportunities tend to come full circle in ways we never expect.

Another book that has shaped my approach is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. A lot of people assume it’s a sales book, but it’s really just a people book. It’s about learning how to engage with others in a way that builds trust, deepens connections, and makes life a little more meaningful.

Because no matter how introverted or independent we think we are, people matter.

Even if you have a small circle, even if you’re selective about who you spend time with, relationships shape the way we experience life. And they get a whole lot better when we shift our focus from getting to giving.

Where Are You Focused?

Here’s a little gut-check: The next time you leave a conversation, an event, a meeting, or even just a casual get-together, pay attention to your first thoughts.

• That wasn’t worth my time.

• I didn’t meet anyone interesting.

• That was a waste.

If thoughts like these come up, there’s a good chance you walked into that situation thinking, what am I getting?

Try flipping it. Try showing up with what am I bringing? and see what changes.

I can tell you from experience—it changes everything.

And who knows? You might just go from I hate people to people are the greatest asset I have in life.