How I Learned to Live a Life That Makes My Heart Sing

In 2019, I made a decision: I promised myself to only pursue things that made my heart sing. It wasn’t an easy or quick decision, but it became a vow to myself. This simple commitment has shaped my life in unexpected ways, leading me down paths I hadn’t imagined. It’s funny how small shifts in thinking can lead to big changes.

I’ve learned that it’s not just about the big, life-altering choices; it’s about the small, everyday decisions that build toward a good life. 

Discovering What Makes My Heart Sing

My journey to understanding what truly makes my heart sing started in 2016, after I lost my brother, Talbott. I was in a tough place, overwhelmed with grief. One day, my mentor - who has supported me for nearly 20 years - asked me a simple question:

“What do you like to do for fun?” 

I was stunned because I couldn’t think of a single thing.

I had spent a lot of time as a single mom, focusing on my responsibilities of building a career to support myself and my family and being of service to other people. I hadn’t taken the time to enjoy myself. It was time to live.

My mentor’s question nudged me to explore what really brings me joy. I realized I needed to find things that lit me up, even if I didn’t have the words for it at the time. 

One of the first things I rediscovered was my love for biking. I remember the first time I got back on a bike after 28 years of not riding and being severely out of shape. I couldn’t even make it out of my neighborhood! But I kept at it, pedaling a little further every day. Everyday I got up at 6am and would ride a little bit further each time. Eventually, I found myself biking all around Carmel and even down to Indianapolis using the Monon Trail. With my newfound love of biking came a sense of freedom and happiness that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Biking wasn’t the only passion I rediscovered. I remembered how much I used to love being creative with my hands. My cousins taught me how to cross stitch when I was young, and I loved to do that! So I decided to learn something new with my hands, so I learned how to crochet. A year later I also learned how to knit. These simple hobbies became more than just pastimes; they became a form of meditation, helping me find peace and calm in the busyness of life. They may seem like small things, but they’ve added a lot of joy to my life!

Another unexpected source of joy has been solo travel. I started taking vacations by myself, something I never imagined I’d do. I’ve driven up the Pacific Coast Highway, explored Sedona, and wandered through the Grand Canyon, all on my own. These trips were more than just adventures; they were opportunities to connect with myself and discover what I truly enjoy. Traveling alone has brought me a deep sense of contentment and has become one of the ways I nurture my soul.

I Find Joy in Challenges

One of the things I’ve come to understand is that living a life that makes my heart sing doesn’t mean avoiding challenges. In fact, some of the most joyful moments have come from tackling things that stretched me beyond my comfort zone. Whether it’s learning a new skill or making a big change, I’ve found that joy often comes from the growth that happens on the other side of discomfort. What I’ve found is that whether it’s a challenge or something for enjoyment, I need adventure.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the value of saying no. 

To make room for the things that truly bring me joy, I’ve had to learn to say no to the things that don’t. It’s not always easy, and it’s something I’m still working on, but it’s made a big difference in how I spend my time and energy.

Today, I’m doing my best to live a life that makes my heart sing. It’s not a perfect journey, and I have built a life that feels purposeful and fulfilling. It’s a work in progress, and I’m okay with that. After all, it’s the little steps, the small commitments, and the daily choices that make this journey so worthwhile.

Keep an eye out for next month’s Talbott Talk, where I share more about my tips for finding joy and saying no.